OHEL Provides Guidelines to Parents On How to Speak to Children
Following the Tragic Drowning of Five People

By now many of you have heard about the tragic and fatal drowning’s of Rav Yehoshua HaCohen Ben Paz Z”L, 24-years-old, in Israel, and Yosef Levi Z”L, 21- years old, in Mexico. This is in addition to three people who drowned in Norfolk Va, New York and New Jersey. As we share in the grief with these families, many in the community are concerned how to discuss these tragedies with their own children. OHEL is offering the following suggestions with the reminder that all children are unique and will respond distinctly based on their personalities, dispositions, proximity to the tragedy and personal histories.

• Assure your child that feelings are neither right nor wrong and it is perfectly normal to be scared and upset. It is also acceptable if a child is relatively stoic or unresponsive. We all differ in emotional reactivity and one type of reaction is not better or worse than another.

• Parents should not rush to rid the child of their sadness or fear but assure them that such reactions are normal and to be expected.

• Parents should be cognizant of their voice tones and body language when communicating assurances of safety since children are often more responsive to those non-verbal cues when frightened or feeling threatened.

• Without downplaying the enormity of this tragedy, emphasize for your child that such mishaps are rare and that water recreation is preponderantly safe. Do include a discussion on water safety and boating safety as well as covering any fears your child may have.

• While the exact circumstances surrounding this tragedy are unknown, your child may need to be told that no “bad person” or criminal intent is implicated.

• Teenagers are more likely to grapple with the unanswerable questions of tragedy visited upon good people but they can also integrate the idea that much of life is unknowable to everyone except Hashem.

• Children most at risk for an untoward or difficult response to such tragedy are those who are beset by anxiety, have a personal or family history of tragedy or whose lives are generally characterized by chaos and instability

Please feel free to contact OHEL directly at 1-800-603-OHEL or access@ohelfamily.org with any concerns or questions you may have.